Video Reflection

When I took a look at the video recording of myself giving a lecture to Digital Media about pattern design, I noticed my wordy tendencies. That is one of the main things Cortney and I have discussed, based on what I need to work on. In my power point presentations, I tend to be a bit wordy. In some ways I feel like she means I'm mumbling. I tend to be a mumbler and I'm worried this is coming out in my teaching. It's not something I'm proud of and I think it's a good thing that teaching forces me to work on it. However, I hope that I can improve this!

In the video, I hear the awkward pauses I take. Sometimes this means me breaking up sentences or dropping the volume of my voice at an awkward time. It frustrates me to see/hear this on video because I can notice it a bit when I'm actually speaking to the class. I become self-concious about it, which probably causes me to make more awkward pauses.

Another issue I notice is my posture or movement around the classroom. I think I usually do a pretty good job of monitoring the classroom or walking around to check on the students, but I noticed in the video that I was kind of just pacing back and forth. I'm not sure if this is completely distracting to students or not. I do like being able to walk around the classroom, rather than stand in one spot, especially since my voice might not always carry. Courtney said I do a good job of making my way around the classroom, but watching this video makes me wonder how I can improve that.

I think the biggest thing I learned today is how to take control of classroom management issues. I got extremely frustrated today. There were three students who were talking a lot during my presentation. The time I noticed, I politely asked them to stop talking. The second time I came by and quietly said, "Guys. Please." The third time I looked at them from across the room with a extremely irked facial expression and just said "Really?". Basically, what I learned, is that I handled that all wrong. I really felt empowered around the second week of ST when I shut some kids up and got them to pay attention, but I'm realizing now that I haven't taken any steps forward. What I should have done in this situation today, was confidently and out loud separated the boys. This keeps the pace of the classroom and my presentation up and it doesn't hide or hinder the problems their causing. It just plainly and simply solves the problem at first hand.

However, this issue really got to me. It was the last hour of the day and I felt totally taken advantage of for the first (ok, maybe second time). High school students are a tough crowd, especially at the last hour of the day. I think sometimes I compare myself too quickly to Cortney and her ability to make things sound exciting and worthwhile. But Cortney says I'm being too hard on myself, and maybe I am, but I just want to feel like I'm being heard. It's only Tuesday and this week has already been the toughest week. I've felt really challenged, but also discouraged in my teaching abilities. Some of it does have to do with a critique I did yesterday. I'm suppose to be 100% taken over by now, which I pretty much have for the past couple of weeks, however, during a critique yesterday Cortney wanted to check out the student's design, so she said she was going to come join the critique. What bothered me, was that she kind of just took over. I wrote up the plan for the critique and had control, but Cortney stepped in and kind of made it her show. That might sound kind of dramatic, but it kind of dimmed my mood. I believe that she has the right to do that, but I feel like it confuses the class. It makes it seem like we're co-teaching. I want the students to understand that I'm there teacher now.

9-7-12

Today marks the end of my third week. Next Monday I will be officially 100% in control! However, before looking too far into this next week, I do want to consider one thing I learned about this week, and that is grading and critiquing student work. I did a lot of grading this week and became more involved in the production and improvement of student's work. Grading the student's Typographic Pendant designs this week was fun (because I really do think they did a good job), but it was also difficult and sometimes frustrating. It's hard to take a look at student's work and explain to them what needs to be changed. A lot of the things that I think I can say right away are too abstract for them. Even if I said "consider the composition" or even expand upon that by saying "Could the letters be spaced more, could there be more negative space on the left side?", they would still have misunderstandings and need further explanation in class. But maybe that is an OK thing? I did encounter that situation where I said some of those things about composition and after I handed back my comments the student said, "Could you explain? I don't know what you mean". So I did. I had her design in front of both of us and I pointed out the certain places that would change the composition and I explained what composition is. And this seemed to be a good thing, but then there's my other question. How does an art teacher help a student improve their work without offering suggestions that would make the work barely their own? In a project in Digital Media, the students designed name tags that described a personality aspect about them. The letters of their name had to be manipulated in a way that described something like "I'm busy" or "I'm hungry". It was very difficult to explain to students what this project was asking of them. They did a pretty good job developing ideas in the end, but for some of them I felt like I had to just say, "Ok, here's what I mean and I think you should do this" and then voila! They created a design that was not there's at all, but mine! Therefore, this is something I definitely want to work on, consider and talk to other art teachers about. I want to see the students coming up with these ideas themselves and having revelations about their own work. Sad to say, but I don't feel like I'm teaching in the way that I have imagined. I don't want to forget about all the classroom management and studio thinking content I studied and learned about in college. However, I believe that being in the classroom now, makes me even more energized about this kind of learning. I don't want to give up on students and how art is a joke in school. I don't want to make it an easy place to goof around. I do want to make it fun and I do want to make it a comfortable environment, but I think students need to be challenged and given the benefit of the doubt. I don't want to act like they can't figure things out on their own. I want to reveal to them that they CAN create and they CAN come up with good ideas and they they ARE creative and that they ARE smart!

9/4/12

Today was the first day of my third week of student teaching. I taught every class today (besides AP Studio). First through fourth block was Jewelry/Sculpture. Some of the things Cortney and I talked about me improving on was starting and closing the classes. Therefore, today I opened by saying "Good morning" to everyone and asking them about their weekend. We chatted a bit and then I talked to the students about how I'm going to start fully taking over the classroom this week. I told them that since I am still a student like them, I am still learning about the classroom and teaching. I said this will be my new classroom and I want them to go by the rules that I set. I projected a document on the screen and read through list of rules. I also read them a quote about talent versus hard work. I told them that while talent is great, I wanted my art room to be a place where hard work is rewarded over talent. I gave them a list of different logistic rules for the classroom and ended it with number five: use this class time to be a creative learner. That could have, or might have, been an abstract thing for them to grasp, but I have confidence int he students in their ability to understand what a "creative learner" is. And I hope by the end of my teaching, they will have a better understand of it.

The rest of the day was divided into me "scolding" them on their horrible critiques from Friday. I said, "Remember how I asked you to critique each other's work last Friday using this worksheet?" and they all nodded "Yes", and I said, "Well, you didn't do a very good job!" Cortney gave me the confidence to  tell it like it is to the students and make sure they understand that they're getting participation points for these critiques and what they did not do will hurt them. Then, I went through the instructions of how they needed to look at my comments on their designs when I handed back their work and head to the computers to start working. How I spaced time during this first block not so good. I didn't introduce how to "scale" their design before printing early enough in class, so most students didn't get their designs printed before the bell rang. Cortney and I talked about this and then second through fourth block went great! Cortney said everything went really great and my timing was good.

9/1/12

This was a stressful and difficult week. I felt overwhelmed by the students and their horrible attention span. I was frustrated and didn't feel like I was being respected or listened to. There were a few classes that listened well and worked hard during class, but there were two classes where kids looked at me like I was nuts. This is the hard thing about student teaching that I was worried about: gaining student's respect, especially high school kids.

We did a critique today in Jewelry/Sculpture. Cortney taught first block. She was going to let me take 2-4 block, but she asked if she could redo second block because it didn't go as smoothly as she liked. This was a tad refreshing to hear. It made me realize that no matter how much you plan, you're not always going to do a perfect job and you might have a flop block. Cortney "redid" second block and I taught third and fourth. This was a difficult task to maneuver. While I felt prepared to get the student's attention and present them with the task before them, I just felt like a mess. The students were tired and slow. They didn't want to write about each other's work and they looked at me like I was an idiot. It's difficult to bring life into these kids sometimes. I feel like they look at me with no interest at all and have no idea how to think. However, I think I'm slowly figuring how to energize them and get them excited or interested. I remember being a high school student and sometimes feeling that way as a teenager. I was never rude or grumpy towards a teacher, but I remember feeling bored. I remember feeling bored and tired in college classes too! Therefore, I know what these kids are feeling and I just want to get to a place where I feel like I connect with them. I'm eager to get to know them so that I know how to interact with them and show them that I care.

However - while both blocks felt difficult and tiring, Cortney actually said fourth block went a lot more smoothly. She said I did a really good job of clearly explaining the instructions for the students. She said I did a nice job of showing them in a systematic order what they needed to do.

Yesterday had been a hard day because I felt beat and like I wasn't doing a great job. And Cortney and I hadn't been able to discuss much so all we talked about that day were the things I needed to work on. However, today, Friday (the day of the critiques), Cortney and I took a trip down to the SMSD print shop and had time to chat in the car. We talked more about how everything was going and I was able to vent about different feelings I was having about the situation. She gave me very positive and helpful feedback. She encouraged me in how I have been doing and said she had great confidence in my ability. She was also very helpful in giving me advice on my lessons.

Then, after school today, we spent a couple hours debriefing. This was even better. She had had a mentor meeting earlier this week and was inspired to use a chart to help us talking about what's going well and what needs work. This was so helpful!!! We sat for an hour talking and writing down different things. We wrote down things that I needed to be doing and things she needed to be doing to help. We had a great conversation about my challenges and my strengths. It encouraged me very much and helped me to understand my situation as a student teacher better. I feel like from then on I've been very positive about this learning experience and how it is and will increasingly improve my techniques and abilities as a teacher.

Today was the last day of my first week of student teaching. It's been a crazy week and I'm exhausted. Today I taught and took over blocks 1-4 and block 7. The only class besides those is 6th hour block or AP Studio. Therefore, I've taken a majority of the day already.

In the morning, blocks 1-4 are all Jewelry/Sculpture. This makes it incredibly nice to transition to each block. All I have to do is repeat the same class over again four times. It helps me reflect on what I need to work on and try that a new route or routine in the next class. I began first block by taking role and making sure every student got their "Wearable" art project graded and put away in their lockers. Once I had made sure all of the grades were in for the wearable, I instructed the students to take out their sketchbooks/journals from their lockers and get out a pen or pencil. In this first class, I asked the students what they remember going over last class. They were very quiet and I didn't get much out of them. Cortney was at her desk and heard the silence and yelled, "Oh come on, guys! You remember!!" Then, they were all like "Yeah....elements". I then, told them we would be going over the principles of design today and told them that the principles organize the elements. I went through the slide presentation, introducing different sculptors such as, Donald Judd, Louise Nevelson, Ron Meuck, Roxy Paine, and others to help describe the different principles of design. It was fun in most of the classes, listening to them talk about their experiences at the Nelson and had seen the images I put up. They discussed the work together as a class very informally and freely. It was my first time feeling like the students were engaged and interested in art!